had better watch out.

uses "tarpaulin" when feeling fancy.

promises to start lying more.

bets on indifference and wins every time.

Or whatever.

wears top hats and drinks champagne every day; does not understand the fuss over New Year's Eve.

is just... using swears. All over the place.

looked up "ugly" in a dictionary but didn't find your mom's picture anywhere. 

eats a beehive once a week to help alleviate congestion from allergies.

is not now, nor has ever been a doctor.

can't stop drinking this delicious heating oil.

is the reason you have to keep the curtains drawn.

is not now nearly drunk enough.

is bigger than the Exposition Universelle.

finds misanthropy to be more economically feasible than philanthropy.

planted eggs to raise an eggplant; was disappointed when aubergines started growing instead.

prefers death by chocolate to death by elephant.

is counting on wishes being fishes, so that he may dine.

was referred to Dr. Feelgood by Motley Crue, but all that dude prescribes is heroin.

admires a well executed omelette.

thinks these crawfish would taste better if their poisonous, stinging tails were removed; may not have actually found crawfish in the desert.

is hoarding whale oil.

is already drunk.

will only eat the finest tinned meats.

will be lurking at the perimeter of the high roller room.