If you have a lawn, and you mow it once a week, that's three solid months of your life wasted on an annual basis. Per year!
Over the course of your lifetime, you will have wasted enough years to have carried out two entire secret double lives as a "traveling salesman".
You can cut back on time spent taking care of the lawn by doing it once a year, during the summer. Lawns will often turn yellow during the warmer summer months as they go dormant to cope with the heat.
The trick is to push through the dormancy stage and drive that bastard right into a wall. Wait until the grass dies. Its color will change from a straw yellow to the white of sun bleached bones. You'll know it's time to mow when the grass crumbles into dust between ragged fingers and blows away on the hot, dead wind.
At this point, mowing is just a formality; the grass will shorten itself until your lawn is replaced with bare, cracked earth.
The rain will never come. You will live in a dustbowl of your own creation and watch helplessly as erosion carries away what was left.
When you're done, remember to drain the oil from your mower in preparation for winter!
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